Lotion Boy, Part 1.

Now this is a story all about how my lotion stash got twisted upside down....

Guest comes downstairs. "Do you have any extra lotion?" Sure! Here you go; good night!

6 minutes pass.

Guest comes down again. "Hey, I'm sorry... This is really embarrassing... Do you have any more bottles of lotion?" Of course! No one ever asks for that, so we're pretty well stocked. 'Night.

12 minutes pass.

Guest, creeping around the side wall: "This is so, so embarrassing. Um.... may I get some more..." Yeah, sure. Here you go.

35 minutes pass.

Guest: "Hi..." Here. In fact, you can have four bottles. Just leave.



Phone call: "Hey, thanks for the lotion. You're so nice. I'm so sorry. That was really embarrassing."

Dude. I wouldn't have thought twice about you if you had just lied and said "I just want to stock up on free lotion." In fact, I wish all our guests were honest enough to tell us exactly what they're doing, when they're cheating on their spouses, and just what they're running from when they show up crying. Instead, we have to guess, and I GUESS that's more fun. I assumed what we're all assuming- that the lotion was destined for its first, last, and only sexual experience before being completely absorbed and missed. My suspicions were not confirmed until the next week. You, dear reader, only have to wait a day.